Preparing For Childbirth
Several years ago, I was delivering the third baby of a lovely Asian couple. Their first two births had occurred overseas and on this day I was taken back to a bygone day in our maternity history. The husband sat nervously studying his watch while his wife labored. It was around 5 pm and I could not help but notice his discomfort. Being a nosy guy, I asked what was troubling him. He told me that the babysitter had to leave by 8 pm and would have to leave to care for the other children. It turned out that he had not been present at the birth of either child. He had dropped his wife off in labor, gone to work and return to see a perfectly swaddled newborn after work. It explained his anxiety and eagerness to escape.
Like a dutiful wife, she delivered at 7:30pm. It was just long enough for him to take a quick look before vanishing.
I can guarantee you all, a very different experience today. Being the dad and at her side during THE big moment is one of THE moments of your entire life. You should embrace the opportunity and be as prepared as possible. I want to give you some tips to keep you in your partner’s good graces and enjoy the experience.
Tips to Prepare for Childbirth
Go to prepared childbirth classes.
Classes provide you with the basic information on the events ahead. Being a good coach will make your partner’s birth experience so much better. Your support, coaching and calm influence will be critical in her delivery experience. Words of encouragement during and after each contraction, and helping her breath will earn you high praise from your partner and the delivery team.
2. Watch your partner for cues.
Labor is an odd moment for your partner. Nice women turn into demons, mild mannered piano teachers may curse with the best truck drivers. You’re giving her a soothing back rub and she is still unhappy. The cold compress you just brought is too cold or too hot. So pay attention to your partner. See how she is feeling and listen closely. She isn’t mad at you, she is just uncomfortable, angry, happy, tired, nervous and a thousand other emotions. Stay close, but not too close, listen but don’ t stay silent, offer a back rub or cool compress when asked. Continue to encourage her. Be optimistic but don’t dismiss her like one husband did. He is a very large, 6’ 6” fellow married to a small, feisty five footer. When he told her that her contractions weren’t that bad, he was in for a rude surprise.
She sat up and smacked him across his chest. The blow barely made a physical impact but for the remainder of her labor, he remained quiet and just out of range. And he stayed that way through three more pregnancies.
3. Bring along the e-stuff
Today’s couple comes fully stocked for labor including an IPad or phones, These essentials play a role in the day to come. The majority of couples enjoy playing soothing music or watching movies during labor. These distractions can help your partner get through contractions and provide you with some entertainment. It is very common to keep family update via the phone or text during labor. I have had couples updating their Facebook status during labor.
4. Bring on the photo stuff
Once the baby is here, the cameras are flashing and vignettes of video are being shot. Lots of photos and video are recording this amazing moment for posterity. Just about every couple is capturing that “IPhone moment” and blasting photos to friends and family moments after the baby arrives. Photographer is often my second role, angling an appropriate picture amongst the IV, monitors and body parts after the delivery is complete. It is one of my favorite moments!
5. Meet the doctor/midwife
Go to your partner’s appointment. Not only is it comforting to meet the person who will be guiding you through the labor and delivery process, it shows your interest in her pregnancy. Spend time asking questions. BE a quiet advocate for your partner at the visit and during labor and delivery.
Most doctors are happy to get the chance to meet you in advance as well
Labor and delivery is one of those special times. It seems to last forever and suddenly you are a parent. The baby is here and labor is in the past. You have a new addition to your family and a new future ahead.
Good luck and enjoy the adventure,