The First Appointment for the Expectant Father
You are in the doctor’s waiting area and your partner is back in the exam room. You feel kind of weird because you are the only guy there. After all, this is a gynecologist office and there aren’t many stray guys hanging out. Mercifully, the nurse calls you back to the exam room. You’re happy to be moving… but to the exam room?
Your partner and the doctor greet you as you enter the room. Unsure what is going on, you look to your partner for a clue. She is smiling and has a certain strange glow. The doctor is ready to greet you so say hello and make the introduction. Don’t forget, this is your guide for the unfamiliar terrain of obstetrics so don’t be bashful.
Most doctors have a special seat or spot that is their place. Try not to take that open chair . Take a moment to observe where they are moving. You should stand next to your wife or politely to the side. The doctor will do an exam to see how far pregnant your partner is. I would not recommend peering over the doctor’s shoulder while they do the exam.
Often times the doctor or a technician will perform an ultrasound. While watching the image of your new baby, you will suddenly be sucked into fatherhood. Yikes!
There is a heartbeat and little appendages wiggling on the black and white screen. Life insurance, 529 college saving plans and a minivan flash in front of your eyes and the dreams of ever driving a two-seater convertible go up in a puff of smoke – you need a four door car!
As for questions, let your partner go first and then it is your turn. Most doctors appreciate your involvement and interest. Here are a few questions you can and should ask, if they haven’t already been addressed:
Are there any warning signs at all we should be aware of?
Are we on schedule for the planned pregnancy date?
Does the baby look to be the right size for this date?
When would we be able to tell if it’s a boy or a girl?
Are there any restrictions on exercise or travel?
What hospital will we be delivering the baby?
What happens if your OB/GYN is away when your wife goes into labor?
Any of a million other questions you want to ask.